Scattered

"Unhappiness is a choice. You can choose to be unhappy with where you're at, or you can choose to be happy with what you've got and work towards what you want."

Really? Okay, if you say so, but I'd really appreciate it if I didn't have to wait too long. Being patient has never come easy for this girl. Maybe I should add this to my goals..... I really do think that putting down my goals makes them more achievable, instead of always thinking, 'I'm going to start this someday'......

So how am I doing?

First, I want to reevaluate the order of my goals. To be honest, I wasn't paying close attention to the specific order.

1.Blog Weekly.

So far so good! I'm going to go ahead and give myself a pat on the back for getting last weeks blog up by Wednesday. I'm really really hoping I get this one done in time. I'm starting it a little late, plus I managed to forget my keyboard, so I'm typing this via touch screen on my IPad, which isn't exactly speedy.... Kudos for one week down, only 51 weeks left.... Or is it 53? I know it's not 52...... I honestly don't know. Thank god for google. My answer will be solved momentarily, always go with your gut. 51 weeks. I can do this...... Later..... Okay, so maybe I started celebrating too soon. I vow to KEEP TRYING to have my posting done by Wednesday of each week.



2.Cook More.

I feel pretty good about my first week. I started the week off with trying a dessert called "cake batter balls". I'll admit, they looked nothing like the recipe, they were kind of ugly, but they still tasted good, at least the first day. I tried one the next day, after it had sat in a warm room for 24 hours, not so tasty, kind of gross really. I also made a healthy lasagna and southwest stuffed spaghetti squash, which both turned out great and I was able to use the leftovers for lunch. I have a terrible habit of making way too much food, so the fact that I didn't throw out either of these, makes me very happy. My biggest struggle is planning my meals. That's hard!.

3.Do something that scares me everyday & quit procrastinating.

I added "quit procrastinating" to this, I feel like they go hand in hand for me. I honestly don't know if I do things that scare me everyday, I think I need a running list. I'm glad I'm more aware of this because it's paying off :) Last week, after I posted my first blog, I was driving into town. There is this new coffee shop in East Missoula that I've always wanted to stop at, but I've been too scared. (I know! How weird am I?) Well, as I passed this place, I thought, "what the hell?" I don't think I was even aware of how scared I was. I was shocked and amazed when I walked in, because my favorite coffee dude was working there. He use to work at Zootown Brew but disappeared a few months ago. Hooray, I've found him again. This makes me so happy! I also called someone that I've been intending on calling for several weeks, and everything went well. I honestly think being scared and procrastinating just stresses me out, so from now on, if it's something I need to do, I'm going to TRY to do it right away.

4.Take more pictures and work on developing my photography business.

Thank you Katea for holding me accountable for this one! I've been trying to bring my camera with me everywhere, just in case. I always have my phone, which takes okay pictures, but it's not the same thing. I keep my small canon point and shoot, which also has some manual functions, in my bag, which paid off this week. I'm going to start including pictures on my blog.

I saw a bald eagle on my drive home, up Pattee Canyon. I know we've all seen pictures of bald eagles, but I was pretty excited. I only wish I had my OTHER camera, and my zoom lens. From here on out, I'll have it with me, or at least in my car. The other photos are from a foggy morning a few days ago. I can go days and days where nothing catches my eye, and then suddenly everything is distracting me.

Along with taking more pictures, I spent a few hours this week going through my thousands of digital images I have saved. I certainly have a passion for this, so I'd better make use of it. I have a plan to maybe start selling my prints at our store. Why not?

5.Yoga and Meditation

I'm having difficulty fitting Yoga into my busy schedule. Right now I do not have the time. I know I need to make time, but my focus for the next few months is training for the triathlon I signed up for in April, so Yoga is going onto the backburner until May. Until then, if I can fit a class in here or there, I will. As for Meditation. I have practiced my meditation for a full week now. For those of you who are interested, there are tons of free podcasts available on itunes. I've been listening to two different ones, "Learn to Meditate", which has daily practices. I've only listened to a few days worth and the sound is a little off, but it's informative and helpful. I'm also listening to a weekly meditation podcast called "Zencast". I have a hard time quieting my mind for more than a moment or two, but I do see it getting easier. I made the mistake of listening to a podcast via my iphone the other morning, and my dad interupted with a phonecall and his favorite game of "twenty questions". Needless to say, I now mediate with my phone off. I do feel like meditation helps me cope with the chaos of my days. If you only knew. I'll give you an example.....

Last Friday, my sister and I were at the Import Market working. The phone rings, my sister answers, and when she gets off, I'm informed that our warehouse is on fire and I needed to go out there. Why me? Who knows. So I grab a co-worker and hop in the truck. As we came around the corner to East Missoula, there were black plumes of smoke coming up over the backside of Mount Jumbo.

"Oh Shit."

Secretly I was thinking, 'Thank you God!' I had been trying to figure out what we were going to do with all that wicker.... As I pulled into the motel parking lot, which happens to be within walking distance of our warehouse, I sort of ignored the cop directing traffic and he started flailing his arms around and yelling at me. I guess I drove across the fire hose. You're not suppose to do that. I didn't know! It was flat, I don't think I hurt it. After being chewed out by a second cop, who was at least understanding, I was informed by my co-worker, that I'd be in jail if I hadn't been female. This is just one hour out of my life. Sadly, no, our warehouse did not burn down, just a couple trucks out back, see last Saturdays Missoulian for more details. We were on the front page of the Montana section. This is big news in Montana, didn't you know that?

6.Make more art

So far I've done nothing with this. By the beginning of February I plan on having a list of classes I would like to take.

7.Compete in one race a month

I'm currently training for two races. February 25th I will be running the Seeley Lake Snow Joke Half Marathon. Last year the weather was a balmy 3 degrees, so I'm hoping for it to at least be that warm. I train for my half marathons by running twice a week. I run one long run on the weekend and a shorter one during the week. This week I ran 6 miles on Sunday, and 3.5 on Tuesday.

I'm also all signed up for the Grizzly Triathlon, April 21st. I'm scared of this race. I've been signed up before, but bailed at the last minute. The good news is, I've done a few baby triathlons (this one could probably fit into that catetgory, but it's still scary!!). Along with running two days a week, I try to cycle one or two days and I will be swimming two days a week, starting next week. I'm not a strong swimmer, and I'm out of practice, but as usual, my ultimate goal is to finish. That's it. Finish with a smile. I'm good at that.

You know what. I just read what I have so far and this is WAY TOO MUCH INFO for one blog, so, I'm going to end this one a little abruptly, but first I'm going to list my last few goals (a few new ones and a few I plan on crossing off the list....)

8.Write a book

9.Patent and sell an idea

10.Pay off my debts

11.Read more

12.Positive affirmations

13.Get my bailbonds license (it's a long story, I promise to get into it, but at the rate I was going with this blog, you probably got bored and didn't even get this far!) I forgive you! I was getting bored too!!!

14.Accomplish something everyday



And as for a few things I took off my list:

Quit drinking so much coffee

I'll just be honest, it's like the moment I put this one out there, my body started to crave it even more. Why bother? For right now, only once a day, I can deal with that. I don't drink and I don't do drugs. Let me have my coffee dammit! :)

Cycling Instructor Certification

This is definately something I think I would enjoy, BUT, I really need to tone down my goals and make sure the rest are attainable, for now I'll keep enjoying my classes. Anyone go to the Peak? Tamara, 6 pm, Tuesday nights starting February 1st. YOU WILL HATE EVERY MOMENT OF HER CLASS. She kills you. It's amazing!

Next weeks TOP GOAL. A more focused blog, posted by Wednesday! Hope everyone is having a great week! XO

I'm late!

Sorry! To those of you who might be checking for a blog! I'm running a little late, but it's only because I have so much to say! Check back soon! Friday? xoxo

2012 Year of Personal Growth

"You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change"

Happy New Year!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am welcoming the new year with open arms. Goodbye 2011, hello 2012. I'm calling last year the year of Change and this year is the year of Personal Growth. I did have a friend say that just because it's a new year, doesn't mean anything is really different, but I disagree. It's not like I have a clean slate, but I am starting this year differently then last year. For once I'm not unsure about my relationship (which feels so good!!!!). This time last year, I was going into the steam room at the gym and sobbing every night, because I was so lost and confused. I feel like a different person, and I'm ready to move forward and become an even better me.

I went through many changes last year. I overcame a divorce. Honestly, I slowly spiraled out of control until my car accident 4 months ago, but now I feel like I'm at least headed in the right direction, with a lip piercing, a prisoner boyfriend and a new tattoo. Nothing has ever sounded so normal to me. Ha! I'm smiling as I write this, because the best thing about my story, is it's MY STORY, no one else's. You can't make this stuff up!

So. My plans for 2012? First and foremost. I've been reading a book called "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin, and she's given me some ideas on my own "happiness project". I've been struggling with my personal happiness, because it's never consistent, besides somewhat following the weather, and I don't like that. So this year I'm trying to set some personal goals that will make me happier. I have lists and lists of goals, and I'm hoping my blog will help me keep myself on path and somewhat organized. Let's see what I've got here. You're probably going to think that I'm completely out of control, but that's okay. This is how I do things. A little differently, somewhat over the top, and never quietly. I want you to be my witnesses to the transformation I am about to make.

I'm warning you, the first blog of the year might be a little all over the place.... Of course I have hand written notes, notes on my ipad and my phone, so bare with me :) I may even add to my list as the year goes..... For me there is nothing more gratifying than crossing something I've accomplished off of a list.

I think what I am going to do is break this down into the actual goals, and then follow up with placing them into individual monthly goals, to make it not seem so overwhelming... I'm going to use January to get myself in order.

Personal Goals:

1.Blog weekly I think I can do this. I'm going to personally promise a new post by Wednesday of each week. If you don't follow my blog, I always post a link on Facebook when I've finished the blog. Sound good? I know allot of people care about what I'm doing. :) That's sarcasm baby.

2.Cook more Sounds simple, right? Not really. Especially when you live 20 minutes from the nearest grocery store. I need to plan things out if I want to cook. I love to cook! AND to make it even better, I was surprised with a new Kitchen Aide mixer from my parents for Christmas, so it's like God is TELLING ME TO BAKE.

3.Make more art One of my passions. I did go to Art School for a reason, right? I've been trying to figure out what it is that makes me happy, and I really do miss drawing. I'm going to look into taking a few art classes this year and see where that takes me.

4.Do something that scares me everyday This will be hard for me. I honestly need to start a list of things that scare me. One of my biggest fears is calling a stranger on the phone. I KNOW! Sounds completely insane. I'm even having a hard time calling the internet people. What's wrong with me? Nothing. It's just a thing I have and I'm working on it :)

5.Take more pictures and work on developing my photography business One of my passions has always been photography, but I've never felt like I was good enough to swim with the "big fish", so I've never tried very hard. Well that's over this year. I can't say I'm a huge fan of photographing people, but that's what sells, so we will see where I go with this. I plan on taking my camera with me everywhere. I use to do that, but I stopped. You never know when you are going to capture a moment. Hopefully, if everything goes well, this will be a way to make a little extra money while also doing something I love. It's very gratifying when someone has a positive reaction to your photos. I've found myself very jealous of friends who have followed this dream to be a photographer, it's my turn and it's okay to be scared. Thank you to all of my friends who have pushed me towards this dream of mine. You know who you are.

6.Accomplish SOMETHING everyday Sounds easy, right? I love love love wasting time and not accomplishing anything in a day. No, I'm not distracted because I'm smoking pot and staring at the wall or playing video games. Undiagnosed ADHD? Maybe, but I do know, when I finish something I set out to do, I feel pretty happy about it. Another list?

7.Yoga and Meditation I have a hard time quieting my mind. I'm really good at half-assing both my Yoga and meditation practices, so this will take some time for me. I need to MAKE time for this. I'm planning on working on my meditation around the time I go to bed, because I've found that it helps me fall asleep. It's okay to do this! I swear it's not cheating, just killing two birds with one stone, in the hopes that I will wake up feeling refreshed with a clear mind. Doesn't that sound amazing!? YES!!!

8.Get certified to be a cycling instructor I think I might really enjoy this. I also have a reasonably flexible schedule, so why not? Definitely something that can go on my "things I'm scared to do" list. What's the worst that could happen?

9.Quit drinking so much coffee!!!! I know. This one sounds silly, but I rely on it to start my day. I also think I need caffeine in the afternoon, which leads to me not being able to sleep..... I see a pattern here.... Do you?

Well those are the notes from my phone. Let's see what else I have :)

10.Compete in one race a month, including ONE marathon I'm giving myself January off, but I think I'm doing two races in May. This is what I have planned so far:

February - Snow Joke Half Marathon

March - St. Patty's Day 5k

April - Grizzly Triathlon (if I can sign up before it fills up!)

May - River Bank Run Trifecta & Bloomsday

June - hmmmmmmmm

July - Missoula Half Marathon

August - Seeley Lake Tri

September -

October - Diva Run & Blue Mountain 30k

November -Training for Marathon?

December - I'm going to try and do the Vegas Full Marathon

11.Figure out how to patent and sell an idea Uh, yeah, my sister and I invented something. It's awesome. That's all I'm going to say. I don't want you stealing my ideas!

12.Start writing a book Can you become a published author without any schooling? Well, I'm about to find out. :)

13.Pay off my debts I'm not ready to fully admit to how much debt I am in, but WHEN it's paid off, hopefully by the end of the year (if not sooner) I will be able to afford a nice car payment. I'm determined to do this on my own. I did this :) I played a little to hard last year. Oh well.

I think that's enough for one year. No? Now. I guess the question is how to break it down? hmmmmmmm. I think that's for the next blog. Yep. Sounds about right.