I've had some serious time to think. I drove over 700 miles yesterday and I still have a little over 3 hours before I get to Safford, where I will be spending the weekend visiting Eric. I took some notes as I drove about what thoughts cross my mind, some of them are so totally random, I can't help but laugh....
Car Envy. Do you ever get that? I get passed by these fancy Mustangs or big beefy trucks and I wish I were driving that vehicle. I'm not sure why I'm bothered by this, can't I be happy that my car is paid of? Isn't it just to get you from point "A" to point "B". The vain side of me wants people to look at my car and be jealous. Who's jealous of a marroon 2007 Ford Taurus, or as I call it, my "mom" mobile. I'm certainly not jealous. Maybe it's because I've never been able to pick out my own car. You heard me, it's never been my choice, always either my dad's or Codys, but not mine. I guess I liked the Ford Focus ZX2 I drove for awhile, until I totaled it when some high school girl ran a red light, but it still wasn't that cool, just sporty looking. In the summer, my Taurus does sport a bike rack, which to me gives it a little bit of a face lift, not looking so old ladyish....
Being part of a biker gang. I found myself behind a group of bikers this afternoon and I've decided that I want to be a biker chick, for at least a day. The thought of traveling across the country sounds both intriguing and dangerous. I've always been afraid of motorcycles, I even failed the motorcycle endorsement class (my sister can vouch for me, she was there...). I'm not sure where this desire comes from, but I already have the outfit. I snagged it up years ago when it came in the pawn shop. Brand new leather chaps, with fringe and red velvet roses running down the leg, and a matching jacket. I know I still have it somewhere.... I think I might make a sexy biker chick.... I wouldn't be the driver of the bike, I'd ride on the back, with my eyes closed the entire time.... I need to get some tattoos...
Random. I know, right? The stuff that goes on in my head when I have no one to talk to.... What else...
Things that remind me of people. This song came on the radio, and I can't remember the title or the artist, but there is an accordion in the song and it ALWAYS reminds me of my sister. She hates this story, but the one time we went snowboarding this year, she got her truck stuck in the parking lot up at Snowbowl. I was asking strangers for help, so I was outside the truck while she tried to maneuver and this song came on. I was all excited about the song because it was new at the time and I began dancing to it. Needless to say, my sister, who was already annoyed by her truck, was not impressed with me becoming sidetracked by the song. The greatest part of this story is that we created enough traction in the snow with a bag of chips, and that's how we got unstuck. YES. lol There are probably a dozen songs (or more) that remind me of Eric. Music has been a huge part of my healing process and so when I've found a song that I relate to, I always send the lyrics to him. I don't know why, but I do. He's never told me not to. It's funny because he asked me to send him some lyrics to a specific song by The Script and when I found them I discovered that they were the artist who sang another song that I loved but hadn't caught the name of the singer.... coincidence? There is an Uncle Cracker song that will forever remind me of my friend Andrea, it was the first dance at her wedding. Every time it's on the radio I think of her and Brandon. It's a sweet reminder of a really great day & getting to be part of such a special moment in two peoples lives... My longest going reminder that I can think of is when I look at the clock and it says 11:11. Reminds me of Aven, who I don't even keep in contact with anymore. It's crazy, I think it started in high school and we always were together at 11:11, so it stuck. Strange? I find it a little weird that all these years later I still think of her when I see that time. I wonder if she thinks about me?
Right now I'm eating lunch in a little town called Pine, in Arizona. I passed through a town called Strawberry. Really? Did anyone know that there was a Strawberry, Arizona? It excited me a little.
More when I get to Safford. :)
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