Why Run?

That's a question I get, A LOT. Why do you run? AND since you run, why so far?

So many reasons! Some of you reading this have heard my spiel, so I apologize. I feel the need to talk about it today. Today's run. 19 miles. WHAT?! Who in their right mind would run that far? This girl, that's who. I promise you, I'm not the only person in this world who feels the need to run like me. Also, there are people out there who aspire to run WAY farther than this. Right now, this is my mountain, the upcoming Missoula Marathon.

This will be my third year in training, the first two years were for the half marathon. My goal this year is to finish that 26.2 miles without walking. Or dying. What started as a hobby and a way to lose a little weight, has turned into a way of life for me. If I go more than a day or two without my run fix, I don't feel like myself. Running makes me happy. Let me say that a different way. Running, KEEPS me happy. When I'm having a moment, all I have to do is lace up those trail running shoes, grab my dog, and head out the door. Sometimes there is music involved, other days I choose to go without, listening to my own thoughts. It clears my mind and keeps my sanity in check. Running. It's where it's at, really.

For me at least.

If you don't have an outlet like running, I suggest you find one. It's different for everyone, soccer for my sister, yoga for a good friend, but if you can find that one thing that you can use as a tool, you'll soon learn you cannot live without it. It's amazing.

I told Eric this already, sorry guys, he usually gets to hear most of this first, but running has been a HUGE tool in my success getting through the tough times in the past few months. I give Eric credit too. He's given me the unconditional support that everyone needs when they are at rock bottom, but running is something that I gave myself. My gift. Little did I know that it would pay off in so many ways.

For one, I am now in the best shape of my life. I'm not done with this path to getting in shape. I told my sister today that by next summer I will be that girl running without a shirt on. Just wait. I know I can make it happen. I've got this stomach that is fighting with me, and right now, with the upcoming marathon, I can't really focus on weight loss. I'm more focused on the fact that my body is craving carbs like I've never had them. I ate an entire pizza last night. Homemade and healthy, but still. I don't know if it's the craving or the fact that, 'well, I AM running 19 miles tomorrow...' It's true. I never knew you could crave carbs like this. It's amazing. I'm kind of guessing the sensation I get is sort of what it might be like to be pregnant. I wouldn't really know.... This is just a guess!!

This past winter I had a terrible, TERRIBLE time sleeping. I had allot going one with my emotions, dealing with stuff that I had kept inside for years, getting my divorce. I would lay awake at night with knots in my stomach. Am I doing the right thing? I was so lost and confused and became pretty delusional and completely irrational at times, with this lack of sleep and constant sick stomach. The only thing that would help me with untangling the stomach knots was, yes you guessed it, running! I can't say that it ever helped with my sleep, but, it was something to do. There was more than one occasion, where I was up at 4 in the morning with nothing to do.... I had already sent Eric some CRAZY e-mail... now what? Hey, it's the middle of winter....

LET'S GO RUNNING! What a great idea! It made me feel better, even though everyone else saw it as me acting like an insane person, running through the foot of snow, freezing out, in the moonlight. I had some surreal experiences last winter. Shelby was my only witness.. AND I didn't die from it, so..... Why not? AND it gave me something interesting to post on Facebook, in the wee hours of the morning. LOL!

Somehow, running clears my head and helps me stay strong. Every time I go on a run, my stress and anxiety goes away, I find a new sense of clarity, and I'm always reminded, that everything is going to be okay. Is it weird that running also makes me feel like I'm not alone? I don't know how to explain that one, but it does, or maybe it makes me feel like it's alright to sort of be alone. I'm not really alone, I have friends and family, my dogs, I have Eric, but there are times when I feel like I can't reach out to anyone. That's when running comes in the handiest. Maybe it's that I sing out loud and sometimes talk to myself when I'm on my run that comforts me..... I don't know. :)

Running is my antidepressant, my reason I can eat whatever I want, and part of my happiness. A big part of my happiness.

When I was on a run in California a few weeks ago, I encountered the sign that I'm posting with this blog. It read, "Warning, mountain lions have recently been sighted in this area. Do not walk or ride alone. Keep small children close. If sighted, do not run away. Back up slowly and give them their space." The crazy ironic thing about this, is where I live. There are animals where I run including mountain lions and bears, but there is never a sign posted that SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF YOU. All I could think about was how, not only was I alone, but, I WAS RUNNING. I pictured this ravenous, hungry lion, jumping from the nicely kept park bushes and tackling me because I was running. Needless to say, I went the other direction.........

I don't like the scare tactics they use in other states. NO WONDER I was the only person on that trail. It was in the middle of a neighborhood. Where did this mountain lion come from? Did it swim in from the ocean? I don't know. I think my ramble is done. If you have ever thought about running, DO IT. Start with a walk, or run a mile. Find a friend to do it with you or get a hi-energy dog, like me. I've discovered this year, that 20 miles is Shelby's "wipe out" number. She's notorious for running 10 plus miles with me and then crying for the rest of the afternoon with a ball in her mouth.

"Really, dog? You aren't tired?"

I can't say that all dogs are like this, but my god, this German Shepard is something else......

Happy Father's Day!

K